纪念你

Remember You Always....Forever...



Friend Forever...

Miley Cyrus - The Climb

I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreamin' but
There's a voice inside my head saying
you'll never reach it.
Every step I'm taking.
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction.
My faith is shakin.
But I, I gotta keep tryin.
Gotta keep my head held high.

There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.
Ain't about how fast I get there.
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side.
It's the climb.
The struggles I'm facing.
The chances I'm taking.
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking.
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah.
Just gotta keep going.
And I, I gotta be strong.
Just keep pushing on 'cause,

There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
But Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.
Ain't about how fast I get there.

空虚的一天

5/11/2009 - 阴天

今天是我事发后去上课的第一天，感觉很空虚，总觉得少了些东西，觉得很不自在，很寂寞，很静，很不舒服。开心不起来。

在学校里的每个角落，每个地方，都让我想起你，想起你的背影，你的声音，你的吵闹，你的笑容，你对我打招呼的样子，深深刻在我脑海里，忘也忘不掉。

在金宝每个角落，都曾经有你留下的痕迹，要忘记真的很难。我总觉得你还在，我几乎还把其他人认错是你。我疯了我！

我永远记得，在那夜晚里，我们边走边聊，你跟我说你的故事，你家里的故事，我都永远记得。

学校没了你总觉得很静，少了什么，少了很多你带来的快乐，很怀念。

你还在时总觉得很吵，很讨人厌，可是现在又很怀念。这就是人所说的，’失去了才懂得珍惜’，已来不及了。。。

真希望你还在，还能听到你那吵闹的声音，还能跟我打招呼。。。

~我們放下尊严, 放下個性, 放下固执, 都只是因为放不下一個人...~

1/11/2009

1/11/2009，雨天。

在一个下着雨的夜晚，突然得知我一个朋友失踪了，在金宝瀑布出了意外。

感到好惊讶，好突然，好伤心。

我整个人都崩溃了，我一直告诉自己这一切都不是真的，只是恶作剧，不是真的，绝对不是。可是到后来，证实了一切都是事实，一切真的发生了，我的眼泪渐渐的流了下来，不断的流，很伤心，很难过，很难受，脑袋一片空白，崩溃了，不想说话，不想理人，什么都不想做，只想静静的坐着。

虽然对你，我不是很了解可是至少我们曾经相识，说话，聊天。在我心中你是个很好的朋友。虽然有时你太顽皮又多嘴，不过现在突然没了你的身影，你的声音，你的吵闹，你的一切，令所有人都感到好不自在，不习惯。还真的很怀念你那吵闹的声音，在班上没你就等于没了乐趣。真希望这一切都是假的，我是在做梦的，一觉醒来什么都没发生过。

真希望你能回到我们身边。我们都很想你哦！你永远不会是一个人。。希望你在另一个世界过得快乐，愿上帝与你同在，安息吧！

这次的事件对我来说打击特别大，我真的整个人都崩溃了，我不敢去接收这个事实，我也不想去接收。

谁可以告诉我这一切都不是真的，是假的，是我在做梦，有谁？有谁可以告诉我？？

在这几个月下来，我身边的人一个一个的离开，我已经开始受不了了，不能再接收这种消息了，不能再度受伤。

我的心很痛很痛！！

两个月前，我婶婶离开了我。因为考试，我回不去见她最后一面，感到很遗憾，很难过，只能在远方为她祈祷。

两个星期前，我姨丈离开了。又因为当天我要出门了，见不了他最后一面，又一次的感到遗憾，非常的遗憾。那天早上下着雨，就像我的心情一样。一得知这消息，我整个人都傻了，他怎么可以离开？？他离开的很突然，我真的很不敢相信这一切是真的。可是它已成为事实，无能改变。在我起程时，眼泪不断的流，不停的流。很想姨丈，很想很想。。。。

昨天，我的一个朋友也离开了。这到底怎么了？？我在做梦吗？伤心的是我不是做梦，这都是真的。为什么？为什么？崩溃了，真的崩溃了。整个人愣住，傻了，没表情，眼眶慢慢的湿了，眼泪也慢慢的流了下来。我不想去听，不想去知道，不想去接收这一切。不是真的，这一切不是真的。。。。不是。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。不是。。。。。。。。。啊。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。有谁可以帮我把这个恶梦叫醒？？

心情很低落，到现在我还无法接收这事实，来得太突然了，很难接收不想面对。

James, U Are Not Alone, We will always Remember You! God Bless You!

Complicated

心情很复杂。是不是有期望或希望就有失望呢？而期望越高失望就越高。。。？？

Duno what happen to me this few days, besides moody no other feeling. I feel very suffer and complicated, actually what I want? What I hope? What I m thinking? What I m doing?? Myself also duno..what a sux life…grrrrrrrrrr…suffer laaaaa……arrrrggghhhhhhhh….. until last night I talk with my best fren and da ge ge, I felt that I m not alone, I still got many friends care of me..i should appreciate them. I love u all!!! You all make my tears fall down last night. After that I felt better and know what should I do, I know what is my decision. I should not think too much, not to hope or wish something too much, not to misunderstand something that is impossible will happen. The more I think the more disappointed I feel. Take everything easy, don think bout it… God will arrange everything for me.

What I should I do now is live happily and cheers up everyday, don think bout anyone or anything. It only will make me headache, fan, suffer, aiya, all complicated la…don think don think..avoid it.. I need concentrate study, study and study… I will forget u..i can do it.. GIVE UP!!!!!!!

P/s : 期望越高失望就越高！

Sad :(

Finally new sem started again, last sem result like hell..i really no eyes to c my result, felt very disappointed with it, but cant do anything, only can accept and do the best again in coming sem. I hope I can handle all subject in coming sem..haiz…stress..tired..hard..complicated..hmmm….HELP!!!

Many things happened this holidays, all about family..like what I said in previous blog..i really feel sad y other ppl can live in a sweet family but me??? Cannot!!! My family have been destroyed by my brother and my sister-in-law..if all this things never happen, how good is it?? I miss my sweet family last time…:’( I really miss my family when I was study outside, but when I go back home, the feeling is different…my home is full of Evil..i even cannot stay in the house 1minute..it makes me cannot breathe, I really cannot stand anymore..y this world got this such of ppl..i realy don understand…how can they treat their parents like this??? How can he treat his own sister like this?? The only one eldest sister he has..why?? Parents always will treat their children equally, y should u say parents not sayang u?? even though I know dad love son more than daughter, I din mention anything..i never say dad pilih kasih also?? Everyone also know dad love u more but urself duno..pls la..u not a kid already..use ur brain to think, Idiot!!!!

Last few days my uncle passed away. This year I had lost 1 aunty and 1 uncle..it make me very very sad..i really felt unbelievable, t felt don wan to accept this fact.. I DON WAN!!! The morning when I wanna depart from my hometown to Bintulu, I heard the news, I really cannot believe that it is true…I told myself that was not true..the news was not true..i wan my uncle to alive.. I miss him…although we seldom meet, seldom talk..but I really miss him..:’( :’( he is a good and nice uncle..i don wan he to leave…I don wan, really don wan…:’( miss him… I miss the moment when he taught me driving..he really is a good driving teacher..best I ever met.. I really thanks him to teach me driving..his endless patience to teach me driving… Thanks Uncle, I will always remember u forever and ever!!!

Rest In Peace, God Bless You!!!

Angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holidays end soon..feel sad and no mood..parents haven’t come back from trip..miss them much..

Holidays too long, more things will happen. Today happened something make me damn angry, I wonder why I have such kind of brother????? I only fetch my sister to have a breakfast, should u give me face see??? Your damn angry face show on your face thought I duno?? I duno why u so angry, but if u really don like me to be ur sister then I ok wor..u already lost one elder sister, lost one more also no different lo..i ok what.. some more I got brother also like don’t have.. since I was small, I never feel that I got a brother.. for me,no different.. I think for u also no different la..since u don’t have family love..only have a wife enough.. I know dad love u more than us,but then u don’t too over..we all are dad’s children..

Why dad always stand by your side?? Why? Why? He so love u, u still don’t appreciate?? U still jealous?? Almost 30years old guy liao lo,still duno how to use ur brain to think?? What ur brain for??? Listen to wife’s word?? If like that, don’t be a guy la…kanasai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Say more also no use, if really want say, still got bad things to say…ish…DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whatever..hope can leave sadness place soon…don’t wanna come back…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Finally I came back home loo…finally finally..i had been waiting for so long time already…and finaly the suffer time pass already..

During exam really is the most suffer time for me..i never been so suffer before..but then all become past tense now..now I just start my sem break and enjoying my life although still busy everyday, it is more enjoy than exam time..^^

My holidays nothing special, sometimes still feel very boring..everyday do the same thing. One thing is different is I went for morning jog this sem break but only go for one time then need to let my dad go, I cannot go le..haiz..hope tomoro can go lol…kakaka

Yesterday was Happy Mid-Autumn Festival, I had celebrated it with my family, it was a very nice dinner with steamboat, crab, red wine and many many more…really enjoy it..hehe^^ After dinner, I still playing ‘tanglung’ with my nephew until the ‘tanglung’ was burned..haha…really fun.. I had been long time didn’t play ‘tanglung’ and did not enjoy like this looo…

This time holidays…I really hope it will never end.. I feel very very tired after the exam..and I know the exam coming will be more suffer and harder than this time..i hope I can handle it..

Support me pls…and I will support myself..i trust myself that I can..^^

This holidays feel a bit blur..duno izit bcz of exam make me bcome blur blur and abnormal..haiz...wish that I can do something that I really want..kakaka^^